November 14, 2020, is a day that well, to say the least, changed my life forever. My mom was such an amazing woman. Her life was one that was inspiring and real. There was no fluff or fakeness to her. She was real. She was strong. She was bold. She was kind. She was empathetic. She loved and loved oh so deeply. When she hugged, she would hold you tight. So tight that you could almost feel her heart beating. But I’ve come to realize that was the love she had for you getting transferred into your heart. Her sense of humor was on point. Life was never dull with momma around that’s for sure! She loved to cook, especially for her grandchildren. She was the type that would insist you eat before you leave. Even just a snack. Her love poured out onto others so effortlessly. God gifted her with the ability to fill voids in people organically. So naturally that it sometimes happened without the other person noticing it until they realized they felt love, heard, and worthy. Momma was one of a kind. She had the spirit of a warrior. She would fight for her loved ones to the end, and that is just what she did.

For 7,162 days, my momma fought. On April 5, 2004, she survived a massive stroke that affected 70% of the left hemisphere of her brain. That’s over ¼ of her brain. Without getting into the medical references, the left lobe of the brain is concerned with language, number skills, reasoning, scientific skills, spoken language, and right-hand control. It’s the assembly warehouse where words and sentences are formed.

The initial results were that she lay in a comatose state for 9 days. During these 9 agonizing days, we, as a family, were faced with so many gut-wrenching decisions. The doctors gave us no hope of her survival. They strongly discouraged us from inserting a feeding tube to give her nourishment. What did we do? We prayed. We prayed for not only her survival but also for God’s wisdom in making these life and death decisions. Mom was not on any machines; she was still breathing the breath given to her from God. Her body was still functioning, she was simply asleep.  On the 9^th day, she opened her eyes! Oh, what a great day that was for us. You see, we had been praying for a sign that would help us with the feeding tube decision. We told the doctors we wanted one inserted. For the most part, again, they were not supportive of our decision.

That’s when my perspective and purpose shifted. My perspective went for viewing my mom as a victim to her being a survivor. It moved me from being a daughter into the world of advocacy. Advocacy for my mom. Advocacy for others to see her as the warrior she was instead of the victim they saw. To see the limitless potential that she had. You see, God was not ready for her. He had purpose in every minute of this journey. He didn’t cause the stroke but gosh, did he use it to reveal so many wonderful strengths and blessings throughout the 7,162 days of her recovery walk.

To the amazement of the medical world, and quite frankly all of us, her recovery was nothing short of a string of miracles that the hand of God wove together into a beautiful tapestry of moments and memories. You see, mom went from a coma for 9 days to approximately 3 months of being simi comatose. At that point there was a shift. Under the treatment of a very good speech therapist, mom began her journey back to us! She had to learn how to perform the very basic components of human development. She had to learn all the mechanics in eating, drinking, and speaking. The stroke left her with use of only her left side. After 6 months, mom qualified to enter rehab! Until then, she had to be in a nursing facility (we stayed around the clock with her) due to her being a total care patient. When she entered rehab, she fought to reclaim what had been taken from her. She stayed at an inpatient facility for approximately 7 weeks. In those 7 weeks, she pushed herself (with the therapist prodding) to learn so much. She learned how to assist in her dressing, hygiene, eating, and transfers. Was it hard? Heck yes! Did she get tired. Heck yes! Was all of it worth it to her? Yes indeed.

You see, during the time after rehab, mom lived her life in the same manor and zesty way she always had before. She attended graduations, weddings, funerals, went to the flea market with my dad, made trips to places within the state of Louisiana as well as traveled to two out of state weddings for 2 of her grandsons. One of which, she flew for the first time! She was always up for a good time and a good laugh. She let nothing hinder her from doing what she wanted to do.

The thing I miss the most though, is watching she and my dad. Gosh their love was the real deal. That kind of love you see on the Halmark channel. However, their life did not follow a script. It followed their vows. To love, honor, and respect each other, in good times and in bad. They were always there for one another. Man did momma love daddy. Daddy loved momma so deeply. To witness momma doing all she could to stay with dad and dad doing all he could to help her heal and give her comfort, was such a blessing. Dad lived for mom and mom for dad.

Some people don’t believe in true love, but I do. It’s so easy to believe in something you grew up witnessing! You see, mom and dad were blessed. They had one another. Today, marks the 3^rd anniversary of her passing. It’s been 3 long years since I last heard her voice.  I can, however, still hear her voice making jokes, usually at my expense, and her laughing at her wit! I guess the main purpose in this post is to introduce everyone to my why. My why I am writing a blog. For me, it’s all about helping others navigate the crazy life of caregiving. It’s not all glitz and glamour but it is very rewarding and trying. All at the same time! I simply want to put out content that will hopefully help others understand what is caregiving as well as give hope to anyone who finds themselves in a bad place in their lives