What do you do? Seems like such an easy question to answer, right? Well, for me it’s kind of difficult. You see, I am a caregiver to my parents during the day almost every day. I also help at our business on most Saturdays. Oh, and I oversee the food pantry at my church 2 Fridays a month. But wait, I am also a wife, mother, and grandmother to a simply beautifully perfect granddaughter (of course some will say I am partial). But wait, that’s not all, I am a blogger. Well, I am a woman trying to be a blogger. So yeah, that question, what do you do, for me gets a little complicated and lengthy. But you know what, I would venture to say that’s true for most caregivers. Especially ones who find themselves caring for family members.
It has come to my attention that being able to balance everything has gotten somewhat easier over the years. Not perfect, oh dear God, not perfect! But, with a little (or a lot) of flexibility, it can be managed. I see my siblings being just as present and flexible as I am, and I know that we are all in this together. I am so fortunate to have such wonderful siblings to be sharing this life journey with. I know some, if not most caregivers, are doing it alone for the most part. I can not even imagine how that is done except by the grace of God. I know how much time and energy it takes to do this caring for another human or two (mom and dad) with all of us doing our parts.
15 years ago, we had NO IDEA what we were doing as caregivers. For most of us, the first time we become caregivers it’s when we have children. We have this notion in our minds of how things go right? First, marriage, then when the time is right, you will have your children. You plan everything and get EVERY kind of advice on the best foods to eat during pregnancy, the best ways to sleep, how to sit, who’s the best doctor, what’s the best diapers, why you should breast feed. Well you get the idea; EVERYONE has either had a child or knows someone how has and oh the desire to share that information is so real and out there. If you need more, you can google literally each and everything you can have a question about and find a plethora of information based on any number of opinions and beliefs.
THIS IS NOT THE CASE when you become a caregiver of virtually anyone who is not an infant. I have come to figure out that there is virtually zero information or support for people who find themselves wearing the caregiver hat. There are some support groups but the problem with most of these groups is the lack of freedom most caregivers have the time and energy to attend a meeting. They barely have time to shower sometimes (literally). So, what’s a caregiver to do?
Almost all the needs and challenges that comes with having a baby, happens when you become a caregiver. My family found out very quickly that there was not much help there for family caregivers. There was so little information even on the internet that we were truly wondering how we were going to be able to give my mom the best care possible. We had limited specialized training on transfers and such but beyond that, we where on our own. My mom is classified as a total care patient. I didn’t even know what that term meant when this started. So, I guess you can add amateur research specialist to the list of what I do. She came home with a feeding tube (we did know how to care for that). There you go, add self-taught personal medical nurse to the list of things I do. One of the main issues we faced was simply where to we find the things, we need to care for her. What are the best briefs? What is the best skin protector (to prevent pressure points/bed sores? Who is the best therapist? Who is the best doctor who will see a survivor and not a victim? The list literally goes on and on. I know every caregiver walks through their own version of this, just as every new parent walks through it. However, difference is, new parents have at least 1,000 places to go get the answers they seek. It is the complete opposite when you are a caregiver. Not only are there such limited resources, but every circumstance is so different that it makes it hard to generalize and apply it to all cases.
With that being said, I have a hope that with follower feedback, this blog can be a place where caregivers can go for help in attaining the information they are seeking. I have been a caregiver for 15 years now. While I am by no means an expert, I believe I can help caregivers find their way. I have found that we are better at fulfilling most objectives by utilizing the knowledge of others who have gone before you. That is what I pray this blog allows. I have so many things that we have gotten wrong time after time and then, boom! The right thing comes along! That way of doing things that makes everything flow or that one item that fits the need that you have that has absolutely nothing to do with the items real use!
Remember when I said my siblings and I must be flexible, that’s one of the first things we learned. Since stepping into the role of being a caregiver, I have learned so much and have met so many wonderful people who are just starting out and have no idea what is in front of them. If I can give them any advise that I wish someone would have told me then, it’s show yourself grace. You aren’t going to get it perfect the first time you do something. Just remember, it’s not about being perfect, it’s about doing the best you can. It’s about being there for the person you are caring for to the best of your ability while still taking care of yourself.
Please, sign up to follow this blog and share it. You never know who will become a caregiver tomorrow or who is one right now. The next blog will be focusing on the important reasons to start talking medically with your parents before there is an emergency. The more you are involved BEFORE there is a reason, the better you will be able to help them if the need presents itself.
Until the next blog, take care and God bless each and every one of you. Thank you for taking the time to stop by! I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Glenda Squyres, Care giving Girlfffff
Care giving girl 